I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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