Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
