Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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