the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
