remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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