3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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