She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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