my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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