U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
