You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
