Small penises have feelings too.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
