is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
