Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
