You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
