and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
