She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
