Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
