Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
