If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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