I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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