I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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