Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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