He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
