I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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