i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
