There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
