Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
