Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
