anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
