just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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