walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
