Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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