ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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