I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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