I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
