Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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