Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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