Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
