My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
