Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
