Barsexuality is the new black.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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