Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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