I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
