his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
