Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
