no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I die, sorry about rent.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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