my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
