I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
