the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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