All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
