where am i from again
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
